I JUST WANNA LIVE!!!

Salamz...
its been sum tyme since i crap my lots here...
hahaha bz... more to like bz being lazy...
2nd sem`s up guys..
wat to do...
i dun know REALLY
yesterday i woke up the first thing in my mind was...
ahh.... 言ってちまった
wats with me...?
dunno...
i did sumthing stupid after sworing not to repeat the same fucking thing
over n over...
ahh lives just like that...
we repeat the same thing over,
i want to change deymit!!!
i wanna move forward ...

i have this ryhme;
mirror mirror on the wall, who is the hopeless of them all, deprived defeated soul?
whose sins scared the abyss`s wall, which love not to be fall...
whose name shouldn`t i call... in this nightmare`s hall...
fallen be it...
hail my mistress i bring thee good bad and all, for in this hall no name could be call,
for your love is tainted not to be fall... your sins scared the abyss`s wall for you;
are the defeated deprived soul, hopeless of the all...

wake me up.... please!!!....
i need to step back to reallity...
but can i witout biding gudbye to my fantasies....?

Allah help!!!
i dont want to rot any further...